For Mother's Day this year (although a few weeks belated) I posted a tribute to my mother. For Father's Day I would also like to pay tribute to my father in lieu of sending a store-bought card that won't mean much anyway. Perhaps these feelings come from the knowledge that in a few short months I will be a parent myself, and that realization has caused me to reflect on what kind of parent I hope to be. My parents are both great examples to me of what a great parent is. This list is in no way all inclusive, but are just a few things I learned from my father.
1. Always be honest--with yourself, with the Lord, with others. After working for my dad for the better part of 10 years, I saw his integrity day after day. There were several times I questioned him on business decisions that I did not think were fair to his business and favored someone else too much. This doesn't really fit with "honesty," but his explanation did. He would say, "I'd rather have things right with the Lord. He is the judge. If I err on the side of the Lord, He will make up for it either in this life or the life to come." I think it's profound that he holds that philosophy so deeply that it even affects his business decisions. He also taught me to always pay an honest tithe. I could list that as a seperate item, but I think it fits here as being honest with yourself and with the Lord. Again, I saw him pay tithing on things that I sometimes thought was taking it a little too far, but he would always say the same thing--better to err on the Lord's side. My father is one of the most honest people I know. His integrity is known by all who know him, and even throughout the business world.
2. Be generous--with your time, in your tithes and offerings, with others. My dad is always willing to help someone out. I have seen him many times help those less fortunate in more ways than just giving them money. Dad also taught me that if I give generously to fast offerings, I will always be blessed by the Lord. In addition, he taught me to be generous to others less fortunate. Dad is also generous with others by giving them the benefit of the doubt. He has taught me how to be forgiving, loving, and accepting of others, and that if someone offends you it's usually because you have taken offense, not because they meant to offend you.
3. Always put in a hard day's work for a hard day's pay. Dad has always been a hard worker. I believe he instilled in me the work ethic I have today. He showed me how to work hard, and that I don't always have to be paid to work hard, but that sometimes the greatest rewards come from the self-satisfaction of being self-motivating and getting something done or achieving a goal. He taught me to work hard at home, in the yard, at church, at work.
4. Nothing is more important than your family. As a young child during a family home evening Dad (and probably Mom too) decided that we were going to have a family motto. I remember at the time (I think I was about 8) thinking that that was a really weird idea. I belonged to 4-H at the time, so I knew about mottos. The family motto he presented to us was, "No empty seats." This means that someday when we're all in the next life, that we want ALL our family members in the celestial kingdom with us--that we don't want any empty seats in heaven. This has stuck with me to this day and I strive to be the best I can be so I can be with my family forever.
Dad also showed how important his family is by always taking us on a few trips a year to various places. Thanks to my parents, I have been to 44 of the 50 United States. I have so many happy memories of family vacations. Dad always took time off work to go on trips.
Dad also took time off work to coach our sports teams, or to attend a recital, etc. He was always there as I grew up to support me in whatever I wanted to do.
5. Never give up on your dreams. My Dad has goals and dreams just like the rest of us. When he returned from his mission, he wrote down a list of goals and the dates by which he would achieve them. These goals ranged from marriage to career to education, etc. I remember him telling me about this list, and what goals/dreams he had achieved, and others he was still working on. At the age of 40 something he achieved his goal of obtaining his Master's Degree, and of attending a school that he had received an offer from 20+ years earlier. He (and our family) made great sacrifices for him to achieve this dream, and it was a huge celebration when he did it. We were all so proud of him; not just for the achievement, but also because it was something he had dreamed of for so long. I know as he's now in his 50s he still works on these goals and dreams.
6. Develop your talents. I have such fond memories of Dad playing his guitar and me singing along as a little girl. To this day I love to sit and listen to my Dad play his guitar and sing those same songs. Dad's not one to boast about or like to perform his talent in front of more than just a few family members at a time, but he loves it just the same. Dad also developed his talent of drawing, painting, etc. When I was young Dad spent hours and hours hand painting a ceramic chess set and creating the chess board and storage case for the pieces. He still has it to this day--although a bit chipped in places from children and grandchildren playing with it. He has some real talents.
7. Love of nature. Of course, growing up the daughter of a landscape architect, I was exposed to plants and nature. Many times driving in the car or taking a walk, Dad would point out this plant or that tree and tell us the botanical and common names. Some of those have stuck with me over the years, and occasionally Nathan will ask me what something is and I might actually know. Dad has always taken good care of his yard, beautifying it and making it a place where we love to be. Every house we've lived in, Dad always made the yard beautiful, interesting, and fun. Dad also taught me to love camping and being outdoors. We used to go camping a lot when I was growing up. It was a lot easier to just take up and go on a whim before the camp grounds became so populated. My favorite places in the world are all outdoors in the mountains, gardens, and parks. Surely this comes from Dad's love of nature instilled in me.
8. Love of music. I already mentioned Dad playing the guitar. Besides that, he can often be found listening to his favorite music, and many times he'd come home and share some favorite old/new song. Thanks to Dad, I was exposed to a lot of music that I probably otherwise wouldn't have heard. This music is called "oldies" but I never could figure out why. It seemed so great to me. From Dad's love of music I learned to love groups like The Beach Boys, The Lovin' Spoonful, Crosby Steel & Nash, and on and on. I love singing along to music in the car or while I work. Dad always did this too. He use to always play "Johnny Lee's Greatest Hits" when we were going camping. Us kids used to sing along with him at the top of our lungs. "Cherokee Fiddle" was one song I have a particular memory of. I also remember as a teenager one night he came home from work and said, "Hey Chrystal, come listen to this funny song I heard today on the radio." He called the radio station and requested it. It was "Beep Beep (Littel Nash Rambler)" by The Playmates. I found the song just as entertaining as he did and must have listened to it over and over for weeks. I can still sing it to this day. Even in the last 5 years Dad has shared some of his more recent favorite songs with me. You can always find some Randy Travis in his car CD collection, and I'll always think of Dad with a lump in my throat, a tear in my eye, and a smile on my face when I hear "Forever Young" by Rod Stewart.
9. It's always good to try new things. Ok Dad, you'll never live down the time you brought home candies papaya spears for a family night treat because you thought they looked interesting and had never had them before. Dad has been a good example of trying new things, even if they don't always work out. Dad's entrepreneurial spirit in business is a great example of this. He started his own business in the early 80s and it's alive and thriving to this day. There have been ups and downs along the way, but Dad is willing to try new things. I remember a few other entrepreneurial ventures he had--a card game he invented with his business partner, his patented phyto-remediation method, etc. I wouldn't say my Dad is a daredevil, but he will occasionally stick his neck out on something, whether it's a business venture, a new hobby, a new food, or some recreation he's not tried before. His example has taught me to not always accept things the way they are, and that sometimes it's ok to push the envelope and get outside the box, and that this applies to all aspects of life.
10. Besides family, the most important thing in life is your testimony of the Lord and your relationship with Him. Dad has taught by example how to live righteously. He can always be found reading from the scriptures each morning, praying morning and night, and trying to gather his family for family prayer once a day. Dad has shared his testimony in public and in private many times, and I will never tire of hearing it. There is something deeply moving about hearing myfather bear testimony that Jesus is the Christ and how he has come to know it, and all the other gospel principles he has come to know and love personally. I love to hear him share his experiences about visiting the Holy Land, about figuring out different gospel principles, etc. He has helped me through many personal struggles. I feel so close to my Dad for being able to have conversations with him that I would probably have with no one else (except Nathan now that I'm married). He knows many of my inner secrets because of his example and willingness to love and help me find the Lord and better myself through his example.
I love you, Dad, and hope to be able to be the kind of parent to my children that you have been to me. Happy Father's Day!
Love,
Your Chrystal Pee Wee Jones Baby Doll Sweet Heart Girl
One Last Party
3 years ago
