Soccer, Friends, Frogs and Fun

Being the mother of a little boy means I get to do lots of little boy things:

Like soccer practice

Cooper is taking soccer lessons through his old school.  Once a week he gets to learn about playing soccer, practice kicking the ball and doing drills, and also gets to see all his old school pals.  It's worked out well as a transition to being home with me and not totally missing his friends.

Here he is holding the ball, and being reminded by his coach that there's "No hands in soccer!"  That was their first lesson.

{For Cooper's future reference, this is him and his friend Farrah.]

 Cooper has learned to "dribble" the ball by making small kicks to the phrase "tick tock like a clock."  He has learned how to make some "long" kicks into the goal, and today he learned about passing the ball to his friends, using his feet, of course.  When it's time to listen, the coach has them sit on their balls.  So cute.

[Pictured L to R, B to F: Michelle, Sydney, Cooper, Marek, Noah, Ainsley.]

 One day last week I wanted to get out of the house, but it was windy and chilly that day, so we took our lunch and drove to a nearby construction site, and had a picnic in the car while we watched the excavators, dump trucks, bulldozers and such.  Coop thought it was the best picnic ever.

 I was trying to find Cooper to get him dressed, and he'd ran and hid from me in his room.  When I say those little fingers peeking out of the box, I ran and grabbed my camera.  He'd hid in this box all on his own, and thinks it's now the funniest thing to hid in there and surprise me.

 Yesterday we babysat a friend's little boy for the day.  Kempton (4) was Cooper's idol for the day.  Everything he did, Cooper wanted to do. 

 As we were getting in the car to go to the park, I spotted a little frog in our garage, and so took the opportunity to catch it and let the boys have a look.

 They thought it was great!

Such simple pleasures :o)

First Two Weeks as a Stay-at-Home Mom

My last "non-Cooper" post was about leaving my full-time office job for a full-time stay-at-home mommy job.  One of my friends commented that she'd be interested in hearing my perspective on staying at home versus working, for those who have always stayed at home from the time their first baby was born.  So I thought for my own history, and anyone else interested, I'd occasionally blog about being at home versus working, at least during this first little while as I transition from my old job to the new.

First off, as a working mom I felt like I could never give anything/anyone I loved 100%.  Everything was given like 50-75% effort because I just did not have the energy or the time to do everything I wanted to.  That was the hardest part about being a working mother--knowing that every aspect of my life suffered from all the other things pulling at me.  It wasn't like I wasn't trying to give 100% to everything, but anyway, you get the point.

When the movie I Just Don't Know How She Does It came out last year, I wanted badly to see the movie, thinking I'd be able to relate to it, since the exact words of that title had been said to me on numerous occasions by people at church, family members, and such.  I'd not read the book, so didn't really know anything more about the movie than what the trailers showed.  Not to give a movie review, the movie STRESSED ME OUT. Rather than being the comedy I thought it would be, watching that mother try to balance all the things in her life made me think about all the balls I had in the air, and stressed me out even more about whether I'd be able to keep them all in the air, or whether they would all come crashing down at once.  Besides that, it totally depressed me because I had to finally admit to myself that working full-time meant that at some point either my family or my job or church callings or friendships or whatever were suffering.  And I hate to admit it, but my family was often the last on the list of "things to do."  Every month or so, I'd try to correct my priorities, but when push came to shove, it seemed working late or meeting a deadline or doing something for someone else always came first before my family, well, maybe not Cooper, but certainly Nathan.  Poor guy.

Thank goodness I have a patient and supportive spouse.  If I'd wanted to continue working, he'd have supported it, wanting me to do whatever makes me happiest, because we all know that "when Momma ain't happy, nobody happy."  He was also my biggest fan when I told him I was being laid off.  I told him, feeling forlorn and lost, and he broke into a big grin and said, "REALLY?!"  That did it for me.  Right then I knew my place at this point in my life is to be at home, not only for Cooper, but also for my husband.  How 1950s does that sound?  It's just not possible (for me) to find that ever elusive balance between work and home, no matter how many days I worked from home.  So the lay-off was the shelving of my office career.

My first few days at home were blissful.  I created a LONG list of things I wanted to do, all the way from finding a library story time for Cooper, to spring cleaning my kitchen, to trying out all those recipes I'd never had time to try, to spending time with Nathan.  There were not enough hours in the day to to everything I wanted to do, and I was so busy doing all that, and having fun with Cooper, that I didn't have time to really even think about missing work.

Then Thursday and Friday came.  I found myself feeling a little depressed, short-tempered with Cooper, and very lonely for my work friends.  I asked myself, "What have I done?  What was I thinking?"  It was a awful couple of days.  To make matters worse, I found a family budgeting program, and started really looking at our budget the way I should, and totally stressed myself out even more.  Wondering how in the world we were ever going to do this, I started questioning my decision.

Nothing puts things back into perspective for me like the Lord does.  After General Conference that weekend (could the timing have been any better?), I felt strengthened in my decision to stay home.  I can do this!  We can do this!  That's what I've been telling myself for the past two weeks.  And know what?  It's working.  Every time I feel that depressed, lonely, despairing feeling, I think of all the reasons I decided to stay at home, and then also find a way to serve someone other than myself or my own family.  Nothing cures fear, doubt, loneliness or depression like serving someone else.

So this past few weeks, with Cooper as my side-kick, we've: visited a lonely lady who needs a friend; visited and helped a stay-at-home mother with twin 3-yr-olds who both just had their tonsils out, a 1 yr old, and whose husband works 4 jobs to make ends meet; made friends with the two neighbor girls (5 and 7 yrs old), who now are at our house every afternoon to play; visited a working mother with a 4 yr old and 2 yr old who is going through a divorce; and done a few other things for some people in need.  These have been some of the highlights of my weeks.  I am not complete without helping others, and in turn, I'm always so thankful for my own family and blessings afterward.

Another highlight has been having my little son at my side.  I thought I'd get tired of him by the end of the day, that my patience with him would grow thin.  I was really worried about that.  But on the contrary, I find myself being more patient with him at the end of the day.  I'm still very physically tired when I go to bed at night, but no longer feel mentally exhausted like I did when I was working.  I am able to be present in the moment, and not planning the next 50 things I need to do, or feeling like a zombie mom.  I have enjoyed teaching Cooper preschool things, and was so pleased when he started identifying letters that I'd taught him just the day or two before.  I love going to story time at the library, play dates, and to the park and such, but also love playing with him in the backyard or with his toys.  We have a great time together.

Being able to do some of the things I've always wanted to (like exercise daily, learn to play my guitar I've had since I was 16, cook dinner every night with all those recipes I talked about), has been wonderful.  I've especially liked being able to plan a real menu, save money on groceries and eating out, and start cooking dinner every day at 4-4:30 to have it on the table and ready by 5-5::30.  Being done with dinner and dishes by 6-6:30 is A-MAZING!!!  I actually have evenings to enjoy with Nathan and Cooper!!

Lastly, as per usual, and I'm really trying to work on this, is having more time with my husband that's not stressed out time.  Like tonight after dinner, we sat outside and talked while Cooper played.  It's SO NICE to get to know him again, and not just as a roommate/partner parent.

So far...NO REGRETS about not working my office job any more.  And for the foreseeable future, I don't think that's going to change.  I can safely say, even with the tight financial budget and such, I haven't been this happy since my youth.

Mommy and Me

Being at home full-time for the past two weeks has had its ups and downs, but with my days being mostly full of doing things with Cooper, they are pretty amazing and fun.  Here are a few of the things we've been doing...

Riding "bikes" every day is an essential.  We try to play outside every afternoon for a few hours.  With the beautiful weather this time of year, we take advantage of being able to be outside without melting.

Cooper loves his 4-wheeler the best, at least this is what he spends the most time riding.

We went to visit a friend last week who lives way out in the country.  We got to feed her ducks at the pond (the white kind with orange beaks, not mallards).  Reminded me of my Great Uncle Jake and his farm animals.  There were fish and turtles in the pond.  We also got to gather duck eggs, play with the kitty, and dog.  When we went inside for lunch, Cooper got to play with their pet python (yikes!).  I was brave enough to touch it once.  Cooper was not afraid at all, and wanted to keep picking it up.

We also got to play with one of the turtles from the pond.

We planted lots of flowers in the yard and in our pots.  Since this picture, even MORE flowers were added to this flower bed.  Cooper loves helping me in the yard.  We also planted tomato, cucumber and zucchini plants in pots in our backyard.  I caught him the other day taking dirt from the pots, and "planting" grass blades in the dirt.  He said he was planting a garden.  I'm so glad he likes to be outside as much as I do.  We make a good pair.

A few other memorable moments from these two weeks:

One day I walked in my room, and Cooper had his stuffed animal shark, and was feeding it fish from his fish puzzle.  (That's a sticker on his head.)

Another day he INSISTED on wearing his "Super Cooper" cape to the grocery store.  I said, "Why not?  You're only two once!"

Couldn't help but snap a picture of him sleeping with his puppy and blankets--his three sleeping essentials.  Is there anything sweeter than a sleeping child?

We go on walks down the street nearly every day.  Three lots down from our house, there is field of clover in bloom.  I never knew clover bloomed in red, and had to go check out what kind of flowers all these red blossoms were.  Then couldn't help but take a picture.

One day we were walking down the street, and Cooper kept bending over and sniffing the ground like our dog, Brody.  It cracked me up!

Lastly, Cooper just learned a few days ago how to get in the swing by himself, but can only get into a standing position, or stay sitting on his feet.  When I snapped this photo, it reminded me of one of myself, and I was surprised to see that the photo of me is at the same age as Cooper is now.  Here's Cooper at 2-1/2 years old...

Me at 2-1/2...

 and Nate at 2 to 2-1/2...

 I can't decide whether Cooper looks more like me or Nathan at this age.  He's such a great mix of the two of us!

Easter 2012 - Family Time on Easter Sunday

For Easter Sunday, Nate's Aunt Denise, Uncle Jim, and cousin Allison came to visit us.  We're SO glad to have family that live "close," so we have someone to spend holidays with!

Cooper always LOVES when "Aunt Deese" comes to visit, because she always has such fun with him.  The played on the swing set, and Denise was a good sport pushing Cooper on the swings, an activity he NEVER tires of.  It's a rare thing to have him ask to stop swinging.  The kid will swing FOREVER!

They rode on his tricycle, and played bubbles...

...looked for bugs in the woods behind our yard...

...chilled out...

...and then had an Easter egg hunt!

It was a very fun afternoon.

Cooper found all the eggs,

and took a celebratory slide.

Oh wait, there's another one!

I think the kid enjoyed himself,

and so did the adults.

Happy Easter!!

Easter 2012 - Easter Morning

After reading stories about Easter for weeks, Cooper was ready on Easter morning to see what the Easter Bunny left him at our house.

 It was a mad dash to the baskets, with no time to stop for a picture.

 His favorite thing the bunny left behind were the jelly beans all over the room.

 Mmmmmm...yum.  Nothing like pure sugar first thing in the morning!

 I asked Cooper if I could have one of his jelly beans, and this was the look I got, with an emphatic

NO!!

 All dressed up and ready for church.

Easter 2012 - Egg Hunt

Cooper and I started off this Easter season making Easter cookies during General Conference.

Easter would not be complete for a little kid without a visit to the Easter Bunny.

 Ready for the egg hunt! 

 Oh my goodness, so many eggs!!  Where to begin?

 Filled the bucket.  Coop had a fun time at this town-sponsored event, but the egg hunt was over way too quickly for him.

Out with the old; In with the new--Me, that is.

For months and months many of you have heard me talk about quitting work to stay at home.  Okay, maybe years, even.  Well, it's official.  Today was my last official day at the office until my children are grown.  Such a weird feeling, and a mixture of emotions--excitement about staying home with my little Cooper, about having more time for Nathan, Cooper, myself, church, friends.  But also sad about leaving something that has been such a huge part of me for so long, that I put so much effort into every day for YEARS, and to which I always gave it my all.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry a little today as I made that final descent in the elevator, down the hall, out the doors, and drove away.  Funny though, I felt a little guilty that I was sad about leaving.  Like I should only be happy about staying home and being a full-time home maker.

My career is something I started working on clear back in high school.  I remember trying to figure out what I wanted to study in college, what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Can't believe I ever thought I'd be a good nurse.  Ha!  Nope, the office is the place for me.  Thank goodness it only took one semester for me to figure that out. I practically grew up in an office, and couldn't have had a better mentor (thanks, Dad!).  I was spoiled to see the inner-workings of a company first-hand at such a young age.  And then when I became involved in accounting, something just clicked.  I always say, the schooling for accounting was awful, and I never would have picked that major based on what I did in school.  Thank goodness I'd had experience with a little of it before then, and knew where it could lead me.

It's been an interesting week, though, since my leaving wasn't entirely on my own terms.  A few weeks ago I was looking over some reports at work, and had that gut feeling that things weren't going so well for some parts of the company.  It wasn't founded on anything but that, but three weeks ago today I had a conversation with Nathan at lunch that I felt I needed to tell my boss about my intent to quit work in the next few months.  I still hadn't decided exactly when I wanted to quit, but felt it was time to make my intentions known.  My reasoning was that if layoffs were coming for my department, I wanted to be sure my boss knew I was planning on leaving in the next few months, because that may sway her decision on who to let go, should such a need arise. That was it.  I just didn't want someone to lose their job that really needed it, and also didn't want my boss to be laying someone off, only to have to replace me a few months later without having the personnel available to do so.

So I called her.  I told her my plans, but that quitting work to stay at home was something I'd been thinking about for nearly 18 months, and didn't have a set time frame.  She didn't want me to leave, and extended me the ability to work from home three days a week.  That was AWESOME.  I could have kept doing that for awhile, since it eliminated 2-3 hrs a day of commute time; time that I could then spend with my family or doing other things.  Those two weeks were so much better.

But then last Friday, my boss sent me an IM--"Can I call you?"  Oh no, I thought.  This can't be good.  She never calls me.  We just IM or email.  Calls are for "big" stuff.  Sure enough, first thing she says is, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm gonna have to take you up on your offer.  Today can be your last day, or you can work another week so that Friday, 3/30 is your last day."  WHAT?!  Holy cow...what?!  ...  I was so stunned, I don't think I got much work done that day.  It wasn't that I didn't mean what I'd said, it was just that I didn't expect it to happen so SOON.

So all this week I've been preparing myself mentally for leaving my career behind me, and moving on.  Funny, I heard something on the radio, some poem a famous author wrote about leaving her career to stay home, and one line said something about "shelving ambition."  I thought to myself--"Not true!"  Leaving my office career is in no way shelving my ambition.

Having started working in an office for my Dad when I was 12 instilled in me an ambition for work, and a work ethic that (not boasting here) I think a lot of my generation and younger have lost.  Actually, there are some really great people at the company I worked for, all young like me, and all just as dedicated and hard-working.  So that's not entirely true.  Anyway, the point is, that I've always had a strong drive to succeed at work, to always make things better, not just accept things the way they are just because someone says so, or because that's the way it's always been done, or whatever.  I've been known as the squeaky wheel, but one that gets things done.  That is just me.  Just because I'm going to stay at home with a 2-year old doesn't mean that side of me is going to disappear. I'm not "shelving my ambition;" I'm choosing to channel it elsewhere.

I loved what my mom said today to cheer me up on that final commute home.  She said, "Just think, now you get to focus on making the lives of your family and other people better, not just numbers on a spreadsheet."  That did cheer me up a little.

Work has always been a part of my adult life.  The only time I haven't worked was the 8 weeks after I gave birth to Cooper.  Any time I changed jobs/moved, I was never out of work for more than a month or so.  I worked all through the years I was in college, and then started out small with my first "real" job after finishing my Associate's degree.  It was for Partners HealthCare in Boston.  Gosh, I loved that job.  Great people, great company, great location, lots of opportunity, and I learned so much.  It's been a long road since then, experiencing things everyone does who works in corporate America.  Went through working for bad managers, having difficult co-workers, lots of crazy/hard situations with co-workers and employees, going through having to lay off my employees, having to fire people, acquiring other companies, having the company I worked for be bought out, watching friends be laid off, dealing with corporate BS.  But there were all the good things too: great managers and mentors, co-workers that made each day a little brighter, being a part of something bigger than myself, and learning so many things about accounting, business, people, and myself.

So many people from work called me this week to say goodbye.  It was so nice to hear such nice things from these people I've worked with for nearly five years.  Some of them are like family to me.  I've spent more time talking to some of them every day than I have to anyone in my family.  It's hard to leave people like that behind; people that I had such close working relationships with, but that would never translate into a friendship out of the office or anything.  There are a few here in Charlotte that I'll remain friends with though. So glad for that.

I like to believe I did make a difference at work.  I tried really hard to do my job 100%, 100% of the time.  I loved what I did.  Probably would be a really boring job to most people, looking at spreadsheets of numbers and data every day.  But I loved finding out why things weren't right, figuring out how to fix them, and then seeing things fixed.  And it wasn't just numbers--these were profits on projects, which translated into people's livelihoods.  The projects were a wide range of design/planning/engineering projects, many of which were high-profile, and made a difference in the world.  We can't survive without infrastructure.  My job was interesting, and fulfilling, and I liked contributing in my small way.

My boss's boss called me yesterday to bid me farewell.  She said she'd received so many emails asking why in the world the company would be letting me go.  When my name came up on the list, the CFO, the Director of Operations, all the way down to my Project Managers were emailing my managers asking if they'd lost their minds.  That was such a nice compliment.  Such a good way to end the week.  She said if I ever need a job in the future, that I could call her and they'd find a place for me, but that she understood my reasons for wanting to leave.  It made me smile to hear her say that.

After all that, today as I wrapped up those final loose ends, checked my emails for the last time, turned in my laptop and badge, and walked out the door, I couldn't help but get a lump in my throat, and a few tears in my eyes.  I'm gonna miss that place, those people, and this thing that I've given so much time and energy to for so much of my life.  But it's time to put this career on hold for now.  To be excited about being a mom.  And boy, am I!!!

May sound silly, but I'm excited about going to a friend's house this Tuesday to catch frogs, feed the ducks, get muddy, and have so much fun with Cooper that we'll come home utterly exhausted.  I am looking forward to being able to clean my house the way I've always wanted to and not having to spend my entire Saturday doing it, to not doing laundry at 11 pm because I have no other time.  I get to finally learn how to play guitar, catch up on all those sewing/craft projects that are collecting dust in the closet, exercise regularly, make dinners that I've only dreamed of, get more involved at church and in serving others who need help, and the list goes on and on.  The biggest thing though, is not being stressed ALL.THE.TIME.  Well, that and the fact that I get to be the one teaching my child the things he needs to know.  I am interested to see what things I'll learn about my son that I don't realize I don't know about him now.

Oh, and next time Cooper gets sick, and I've been up with him all night, I don't have to worry about how in the world I'm going to work the next day, or about having to take time off, or about trying to work from home and juggle a sick toddler.  If I want to go visit my family, I don't have to worry about whether I'll have enough vacation time.  Sure, there won't be as much discretionary income in our family, but oh, it's so worth it.

No more sad feelings.  This is going to be the third-best decision I've ever made (first was marrying Nathan, second was having Cooper).  So get ready because all that ambition that work has been hogging all these years is about to be unleashed.  But seriously, this is going to be SO GREAT.  Woohoo!  Here's to my new career!

[If you made it to the end of this post, wow. :)]