Are you there, Blog? It's me, Chrystal.

As we passed the celebration of the first year of our child's life, it caused me to reflect on the last year, how my life has changed, and who I've become versus who I used to be. One of my friends, Megan, had a recent post about how after you have a kid, your blog becomes a shirne to the child. Such is the case with my blog. Where I used to share my own thoughts and goings-on, now my blog is about my child. Megan's blog had a good point that the reason this happens is because nothing brings more joy to a mother than to see her child experiencing things for the first time, and that is why those things end up on the blog. I couldn't agree more. But to some, it seems like I have lost myself, that the old Chrystal has disappeared.

I was talking to a friend at work over lunch last week about this subject; she has a two year old. I liked the way she stated it. She said that when your first child is born (I would dare say from the time you find out you are pregnant), you are immediately immersed in an entirely new world called parenthood. This new world is full of new emotions, new experiences, new friends; it's all new and amazing. Then as your child grows, you slowly start to emerge somewhat from parenting land, and a new version of our old self appears. I liked the way she put that.

It's so true. The night before Cooper's birthday, I was thinking about what had happened exactly one year earlier: the labor, the entire experience. I remembered what it was like wondering how my life would change after I brought this new little person into my world. I remembered seeing his beautiful little hand above the edge of the surgial screen when they delivered him c-section. I remember thinking right at that moment, "I am a mother." It brings a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes to recall those thoughts and feelings. I loved thinking about the joy I felt that night, after such anticipation, at the birth of our son. No wonder I completely immersed myself in his world. Nothing makes me happier.

So while I'm off in Cooper Land, know that the old Chrystal is still here, just caught up in the joy of being a mother. Someday I'll emerge from behind my child on this blog, a better version of my old self. In the mean time, I'm happy being behind the camera and the words.