A War of Wills...Sleepless in Smyrna

I took this photo yesterday afternoon while Cooper slept soundly in his swing during one of my "watching my baby sleep" moments. Take a good look at this picture because it is a rarity in our house...a sleeping baby. My reason for blogging about this is not to whine or look for sympathy, but so I can document the torture our son puts us through so we can maybe someday use it as ammo for something. ;) After a 7-hour battle, Cooper is finally asleep for the night...I think. Our little guy is so difficult sometimes. He usually wakes up sometime between 2-4 a.m. for a quick snack, and then again 5:30-7:30 to eat, and then he's up again by 8:30-9 a.m. From there it is naps every 2-3 hours for anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours. Some days are better than others. Yesterday he did terribly with his naps and terribly at night. Today he did amazing with his naps, so I was hoping tonight would be better.

Nope.

He napped so well on and off all day today, waking up at about 3:30 p.m., hungry. Ok, no problem. Change him, feed him, and play with him for a little while. Around 4:30 p.m. he starts showing signs of being sleepy (fussy, yawning, etc.). This is when I start to attempt to put him down for another nap. This is where the war of wills begins every night.

Every night sometime between 4-5 p.m. Cooper is supposed to take a nap. That is, according to his nap schedule, but NOT according to Cooper. Here is how the 7-hour war went down tonight...

4:30 p.m. - I attempt to put him to sleep by rocking him. He gets more and more fussy.
5:00 p.m. - I give up trying to rock him to sleep and we head out the door to get our flu shots, hoping he'll fall asleep in the car along the way. I sit in the back seat propping the pacifier in his mouth (which he repeatedly refuses), trying to get him to fall asleep. Nope.
5:15 p.m. - We arrive at the CVS store where we are getting our flu shots. Cooper refuses to fall asleep and continues to be fussy, so Nathan and I take turns walking him around the store while we wait our turns.
6:10 p.m. - We finally leave the CVS MinuteClinic, which we decide should be renamed HourClinic, and debate whether to attempt to run a few more errands or just head home. Cooper is VERY unhappy that we have put him back in his carseat.
6:15 p.m. - We decide to head home except to stop off at the grocery store for milk. All other errands needing done will have to wait another day.
6:17 p.m. - Cooper falls asleep in the car. I wait in the car with him while Nathan runs into the store. Thankfully he also grabs a rotisserie chicken and such for dinner. He can already tell how the night is going to go down, and he is gearing up for it.
6:31 p.m. - (Can you tell I was watching the clock?) We arrive at home with a sleeping baby, who immediately wakes up when we stop the car. Great. We walk into the house, and Nathan unloads the groceries and serves himself some dinner while I change Cooper and nurse him. Three hours goes by SO quickly!
7:14 p.m. - Cooper falls asleep nursing. In my attempt to burp him (if I don't, he'll inevitably wake up crying 15 minutes later with a burp), he wakes up. Lovely. I nurse him some more, and he falls asleep within a few minutes. I put him down in his bed, and bring the monitor down with me.
7:34 p.m. - Crying is heard on the monitor. Great. Nathan has finished eating, and takes his turn with Cooper while I eat my dinner and do a few quick dishes.
7:54 p.m. - I go back upstairs and relieve Nathan. I give Cooper a bath, letting him soak for 35 minutes. He LOVES the bath, and although I know babies his age don't require a bath more than once a week (according to the pediatrician), we give him a bath every night around 8 p.m. because it is sometimes the only break in crying that we get during this war of wills.
8:45 p.m. - Nathan takes Cooper, lotions, diapers, and dresses him in pjs. During this process, Cooper spews spit up all over himself, requiring a change of pjs, which upsets him since he hates being dressed. If it wasn't too cold for it, I swear I'd just leave him in his diaper. He's so happy that way. Better yet, if he wouldn't tinkle/poo everywhere, I'd leave him naked. He LOVES to be in nothing but his birthday suit.
8:52 p.m. - I take over re-dressing him, since he is being very uncooperative, and Nathan is getting frustrated. After getting him in his pjs for the 2nd time, I swaddle him, sing to him, and nurse him. He falls asleep within 10 minutes, but won't burp. I attempt to burp him until 9:24 p.m., and finally decide to just put him to bed, guessing that he has no burp to give. I come downstairs, arms raised in a victory dance, excited that I get to have an evening with my husband!
9:27 p.m. - Crying on the monitor. You've GOT to be KIDDING me! We decide to let him cry for 10 minutes to see if he will console himself and go back to sleep.
9:36 p.m. - Cooper is screaming. Nathan heads upstairs to console him and put him back down.
9:41 p.m. - Cooper is not consolable. Nathan is determined to give me a break, and sticks it out.
9:46 p.m. - (According to Nathan) Nathan looks at the clock, thinking it had been a long time that he'd been with his screaming son. "What?! 9:46?! That was only 5 minutes?! It felt like an HOUR!"
10:14 p.m. - I go upstairs to relieve Nathan. This is how we do it--in 30 minute to 1 hour increments of relief. It is the only way to keep our sanity. Occasionally I may brave an extra hour, but 2 hours is my breaking point. But today I came armed with a 2-hour nap I took this afternoon (1 pm - 3 pm) while Cooper was sleeping. Thank goodness. I also arrive equipped with an advantage arsenal that Nathan does not have--boobs. Not realizing that it had been 4 hours since I last fed him (I told you, 3 hours goes by fast), I feed him again. This time he falls asleep after a full feeding, and I burp him along the way. But that LAST burp...ugh. It will not come up. Great. Cooper wakes up from his slumber on my shoulder, fussy because he needs to burp, and starts rooting around for his thumb. In the last 2 weeks he has discovered his hands, in particular his thumb, and has started rejecting every kind of pacifier we try to offer, preferring to suck on his hand/thumb/forefinger and thumb. Wonderful--not. I do not want to have to break that habit in a few years, or pay for the braces which are sure to be needed in years to come, so I press forward trying to offer the pacifier. This just makes him even more upset.
10:47 p.m. - He FINALLY burps, but continues to refuse the pacifier and suck his hand/thumb.
10:54 p.m. - I am tired and he is winning. It is a bad habit, I know, but I nurse him again and he falls asleep within minutes. Oh, there's hope on the horizon.
11:14 p.m. - Cooper is finally asleep and I very carefully lay him in his bed. He stirs briefly, but settles back down. As relief sweeps over me, I realize that his diaper probably should have been changed when I took over from Nathan since he's probably wet. I debate for about a half second whether to wake him to change him. Nope. Let sleeping babies sleep.
11:15 p.m. - I come back downstairs, and Nathan says, "Next time he falls alseep at 9 o'clock, let's not talk about it, get excited about it, or even acknowledge it. That just jinxes it." Amen to that.

My Twin

Today has been "Mommy gets to do whatever she wants to" Day. It's been great. I'm dreading going back to work one week from tomorrow. I am already in tears about leaving my little guy for 8 hours a day. Ugh. I am also F.R.E.A.K.I.N.G. O.U.T. about how in the world I am going to do all I need to and keep my sanity. I just don't see how I'll ever do all the things a wife/mom needs to do and still work full time while I have an infant. In a week I get to find out.

But in the mean time, I'm spending a day for myself. Haven't done that since before Cooper was born, and probably won't get to again for a very long time. So today I didn't shower until noon and I spent the morning cuddling with and playing with my son, enjoying nursing him and making him smile and coo, and watching him sleep. Among other things, I also finished a book I bought before Cooper was born. Firefly Lane is the first non-baby-related book I've read since I found out I was pregnant. I bought it because it was about a friendship between two girls that lasts their lifetime. It is very "Beaches"-esque. I won't spoil the ending in case any one of you ever decides to read it. The topic of friendship reminded me of my friend, Melodee. You can see a picture of us together last year for Thanksgiving.

Most of you probably don't know I have a Twin. Her name is Melodee Cooper and we met in 7th grade as 12-year olds. We had several classes together, the most memorable of which was P.E. Since her maiden name started with a "B" and mine with a "C" we were always seated near each other when the seating was alphabetical. She had just moved from another state, and I was looking for a friend after going through a very rough couple of years trying to make friends after moving to a new small town. Our friendship sprouted that year almost instantly. I remember the first time she invited me to her house. I was so nervous that we wouldn't have enough to talk about. Well, here we are 18 years later and we're still friends.

We dubbed each other Twin when we were in high school. More often than not we would arrive at school wearing nearly the same outfit without any prior planning. After awhile we just started calling each other "Twin." We have been through so much together: junior high, high school and all its drama, boys, living together as roommates, college, jobs, marriage, trying to get pregnant, and now the child-rearing years. There are SO many memories within those few words I just typed; too many to recount here.

Things that remind me of Mel are: dolphins, roses, leaves, movie quotes, Rush Limbaugh, Texas, yellow station wagons, U2 songs, teachers, and card games. Those are only the first 10 things that popped into my mind. Even though she is my Twin and we have many similarities, we are also very different. That is what melds us together, I think. Mel has always been that friend I could turn to no matter what. She will give me the brutal honest truth when I need it and sometimes when I don't want it, and I love her for it. She is always full of wisdom and good advice. I have always felt lacking in that compared to her. When she needs my support, I don't have that well of inspiration that she seems to have, and I have always hoped that I can offer the same kind of support and friendship she gives me. Our friendship is not one of those high-maintenance needy friendships. Now that we are older and have families of our own, sometimes we talk/email/blog to each other several times a week. Other times it may be several months. But no matter the amount of time that has lapsed, or the number of miles between our geographical locations, our friendship is always able to pick up as if we never missed a beat. Through the years our friendship has gone from a frienship between two young girls who shared their teenage ups and downs, to a friendship between two grown women who share bigger ups and downs with a friendship based on gratitude, faith, and unconditional love and understanding.

Thank you, Twin, for your friendship. Instead of sending you this in a private email, I wanted to blog about you. Besides, you are the one who suggested I start blogging in the first place and taught me Blogging 101. The book I finished reading today really made me think hard about our relationship, and how much I cherish our friendship. I cannot think of a better way to spend a day for myself than with my Twin, even if just through blogging--except maybe to actually spend it with you in person. :)

My other thought lately is that women need women, and thinking about friends only solidifies that thought. There is so much to be had in friendships between women. Here's to all the good friends out there (whether you are one or have one)! If you haven't said hello to yours in awhile, don't let another day go by without doing so.

Cooper meets Brody

This past weekend we drove down to Moreland, GA to visit Brody, our black lab that is training for hunt tests. Cooper met Brody for the first time. Brody was much more interested in the birds and chasing bumpers than looking at Cooper. We sat and enjoyed watching Nathan run Brody through several tests, and enjoyed being outside in the sunny fall weather. Here is the proud pappa with his son and his dog, and a few of Nathan starting Brody off on the training tests.

A Good Day

Today has been an exceptionally good day. I can't quite put my finger on what has made the difference, but I have a few theories.

THEORY #1: Nathan isn't working from home today so I am a lot less stressed about the fussy baby being too loud and disrupting his business calls. Also, the TV has not been on today since Nathan hasn't been home. Perhaps my own lower stress level has made the difference for me, and the quiet house has made it easier for Cooper to sleep.

THEORY #2: This is the bigger theory of the two. First, while I was pregnant I read several books about taking care of newborns, parenting, the best feeding method, the best sleeping method, etc. I was crazy enough at one point to temporarily buy into the theory that you don't need to give your baby a pacifier until afer 4 weeks old. I remember telling this to my younger brother (who has a young child himself) and getting a funny look and a response from him of, "Huh. Good luck." The thought from the American Pediatrics blah blah is that in giving the newborn a pacifier you are allowing nipple confusion, and the baby also doesn't learn to self soothe.

And then on the subject of self-soothing...I read the book BabyWise, which had a lot of really great info and suggestions on how to get your baby to sleep through the night at a very young age. Much of that has to do with teaching them to fall asleep on their own (not having to be rocked, fed, have a pacifier, etc.), and then also giving them a routine. To say the least, I was all gung-ho about this for a few weeks. That is, until we found out Cooper has GERD. I couldn't figure out why he wouldn't self-soothe as the book was saying he should, etc., etc.

Needless to say, after several weeks of going through the 3-hour feeding routine during the day, and stressing about whether I have fed him enough, or whether he has slept enough, or whether he has ate, had awake time, been interacted with, etc., etc., I have thrown most of it out the window. Today was different because I let Cooper eat when he wanted to eat, which is now at a 2-3 hour interval anyway during the day, but I didn't stress about the order of eating, sleeping, and awake time, or if he had been awake or asleep too long. This morning he was awake for over 2 hours, but seemed to make up for it this afternoon. And then I haven't stressed about whether he was falling asleep while eating/being burped, etc., etc.

Bottom line is--Cooper is happier and Mommy is happier. I was able to shower and get ready for the day in entirety (didn't have to give something up today), clean my house, get laundry done, clean out the garage, work on some photos, take the dog for a walk, and still have time to spend with Cooper besides feeding times, and that was all before 4 pm. Now I've had time to blog and still will have dinner ready in time.

I think all new parents have to go through this same process of reading/planning and then learning how to figure out what works and what doesn't for their child. And I'm sure that now that I feel I have it figured out, Cooper will throw me for a new loop. But at least TODAY has been a very good day.

Happy Halloween!

Apparently Cooper was very excited that it was Halloween. He woke up yesterday morning very bright eyed...

And VERY happy!
He was almost in giggles about it.

That is, until Mom had to change his clothes for the 2nd time since he spit up his breakfast and drenched himself before Mom put a bib on him.
He was very worried that she might change his clothes again--a process he does not like.

Then he got really mad when she put makeup on him and called him a cute little giraffe.

Aww, Mom--really?

Just had to get the little tail too.

Cooper decided that being a cute little giraffe for Halloween wasn't so bad after all. He got lots of attention from the neighbors and trick-or-treaters, and had a fun Halloween after all. (He later secretly he admitted to his parents that his favorite part was staring at the porch light every time Dad opened the door for the trick-or-treaters.)

Enjoying Autumn and Cooper

Every day since I came home from the hospital with Cooper it has been a goal to go for a daily walk, if even just for 5 minutes. At first, this was quite a challenge, and I couldn't go far (about 200 feet), nor could I go up/down any sort of "hill." Well, today I set off with Cooper in the baby carrier strapped to my chest, and Lola on her leash and we went for an hour long walk around our neighborhood--down our street, 2 streets over, up and down hills, up the hill to the pool house, etc. I was a little tired when I got home, but not exhausted. The weather was beautifully sunny and warm and we enjoyed our autumn walk.

These are some pictures of Cooper one month old. (I don't have any software on my work laptop to make a slide show, so bear with me...)

Better look quick--Cooper is calm and quiet! What a cutie.

I'm not so sure about this, Mom.

This swing is fun!

Tummy time!

Cooper James--the "b" side. See the red hair? Thought I'd better capture it before it all falls out. He's got a serious receding hair line right now. Hope it comes back in red.

Trying to goo.

Just chillin'.

Side view

I like this game!

Hi, Dad! Mom is playing pat-a-cake with me!

Content baby

I'm concentrating really hard on this pat-a-cake game.

Oh Boy, Mom!

1 Month Old

Cooper turned one month old on Friday, and I have been wanting to blog about it ever since, but life has been a little hectic. Cooper has not been behaving very nicely the last few weeks, but up until now I've had visitors to help ease some of that. Now that I don't have a third set of mom or sister's hands to do house work or take care of Cooper, I have much less time to do things like blog, so I figured even though I didn't get a picture of him to post with this today, I'm going to post anyway while he happens to be sleeping, and then maybe get a picture up in a day or two as time allows.

We went to the doctor today for his 1-month visit. First things first...his head measured at 16-1/2". That's an entire 2" larger than at birth, and puts his head in the 90th percentile for his age! He's so his daddy's son. He's only grown 1 inch longer (21-1/2", or 50th percentile for his height), and it must all be in his head or torso because even though he's wearing 3-month size shirts, the pants are still way too long for his little legs, so he's still wearing newborn size pants. Again, so his daddy's son--all torso, short legs.

As for his weight, he weighed in at 11 lbs. 3 oz. I placed him on the scale, and the nurse looked at it and then asked if I was leaning on it or something, asked me to pick him up and place him down again, and it still showed 11 lbs. 3 oz. The nursed picked Cooper up himself and placed him on the scale a third time and was shocked that that's what it read. Made me feel proud as a solely breastfeeding momma to know my kid is growing well. He's in the 90th percentile for his weight. Gonna be a football player? :o)

Our trip to the doctor today was two-fold; not only was it his 1-month checkup, but I had some concerns. He has been such a fussy baby the last 2-1/2 weeks. I have tried everything and came to the conclusion about a week ago that he must have GERD (Gastro-Esophigal Reflux Disease). I had read about it, had a nephew who had it, and just knew something was not right. Last week when my sister was visiting, she affirmed that his crying was abnormal and that I should call the pediatrician. Today at the doctor my diagnosis was confirmed. Cooper is a GERD baby. He's been put on Prevacid, and I sure hope it helps the poor little guy feel better. It's heart-wrenching to know your child is in pain and that you can do nothing for him. I am so relieved to know this is not normal baby behavior, and that with a little help from medication, I may soon have my peaceful little Cooper back.

On a brighter note, on his 1-month birthday, Cooper rolled from his tummy to his back. Well, he more like pushed himself with his legs. To make sure it wasn't an accident I promptly placed him back on his tummy, and he did it again. No more leaving him alone on raised surfaces! Pretty soon he'll be rolling all over the place.

Last week he also smiled his first genuine smile. Nathan has yet to see it, and it may be awhile before I can catch it on camera, but I have been the benefactor of several genuine gummy grins since then--usually right after I've fed and burped him, before the reflux sets in. The first smile was given to me when I was playing pat-a-cake with him. It's one of his favorite games. Our little guy is growing up. *sniff, sniff, wipe a tear*and then smile :o)*