My Sweet Buddy

Tonight I was in the other room while Nate was putting pjs on Coop, and I overheard my little buddy say, "Daddy, I miss Mommy.  I missed her when we went training Brody (they were gone all of an hour in the early evening tonight).  She loves me so much that she doesn't even go to work any more.  We just do stuff together because she loves me." .... Be still my heart.  Makes any financial hurdle caused by me not working entirely worth it.

Super Cooper Moments

Cooper has been having a lot of fun lately.  Saturday in between conference sessions, I offered to babysit the little boy from two houses down while his mom ran errands so that Cooper and Braden could play for a few hours.  Braden and his mom, Tammy, brought over a gift for the baby, and also a gift for the big brother-to-be: a superhero costume!  Cooper's is black and gray, Braden's is red and blue.  They played superheroes in Cooper's "fort" (the big box our rocking chair came in).

 I asked for a picture, and Cooper decided to show his superhero strength.

The boys also played with the neighbor girls from next door, playing good guys/bad guys.  The girls were the bad guys, stealing pieces of wood (from Cooper's stash from dad's leftovers of various projects), and the boys would chase them and try to catch them.  A few times I looked up to check on them, and Cooper was holding his hands/arms in pure superhero flying style, saying "Let's go save the day!" or something of the sort.  It made me smile to myself.

 Today Coop played outside for most of the day, pausing only to come and eat or go to the bathroom.  It was a beautiful day, and he spent several hours out back by himself.  When I went to check on him one time, he had donned his dad's camo hat, and was happily transferring sand from the sand table to his new wheelbarrow, making some kind of noises like a truck.  He plays with the sand and dirt nearly every day, as long as he can be outside.  Sometimes right after breakfast in the morning, no matter how cold it is, he'll put on his rain boots, a coat and hat (if needed), and head out to play all on his own.

Lastly, the other day Cooper started really swinging on the swingset by himself for the first time.  I'd been swinging him, and stopped, and he kept on going.  From this point on he's been able to swing himself, although his legs are too short to reach the ground to stop himself.  He was so proud of this big boy moment, and with Nate out of town, I decided to capture it on video.  So here it is for grandparents and such.

34 Weeks, 5 to Go...Thoughts on Baby and Motherhood

Time is flying by, and at 34 weeks with only 5 weeks left until our little guy arrives, my nesting instinct is in full swing.  I've done crazy things the last week or so like clean out closets, dust behind furniture, cleaned all the blinds in my house, and have only three more windows to clean.  Nate finally moved the armoire for the baby from the garage to the boys' room (with the help of a great neighbor), and so now I can start washing baby clothes and getting the nursery stuff really ready.  As a side note, Nate has been killing his honey-do list lately, and then some.  It's wonderful to have a husband who understands that a woman in her eighth month of pregnancy has lots of physical limitations, but no limits to the number of projects she wants done before the baby arrives.  He is a good sport and a great husband and father.

How is it possible that I have 5 weeks left, I look and feel like I'm due any day...see below. (I'm already about the size I was when Cooper was born.)

This picture shows how exhausted I felt today.  Probably overdid it the last two days, but I gotta take advantage of those days I have lots of energy to get things done, because then there are days like today when I don't get much done at all, but feel like I've been running a marathon.  Comes with the territory of pregnancy and motherhood.  All mothers have days like that, regardless of being pregnant or not.

On days like today, I wonder what in the world has obsessed me to have another child, because I can't even rein in the one I do have.  Cooper was on a bad streak today, which was doubly awful because I was tired and because he'd been so good the previous two days.  I was starting to think we had turned a corner, that some of my parenting of teaching choices and consequences and obedience and such was finally going to show some success, but then regression.  I do find that positive reinforcement works much better for him than negative, which is the case with most children, but when I'm running on little sleep and just totally tired, my positive reinforcement runs short.

Anyway, today I was babysitting a friend's 4 yr old, and he and Coop were full of more energy than I could handle at times, and I started wondering why I want another child.  Then I remembered a few things from the last few days.  First, my sister shared a link on Facebook to a story about a woman who feels like the invisible mom-servant to her family until a friend returns from a trip to Europe with a book about the grand cathedrals and how the builders of those cathedrals will forever remain anonymous, but that their efforts and sacrifice will stand as wonders to the world.  Her friend likened motherhood and her "invisible" efforts to the builders of the cathedrals, and her children to the cathedrals themselves.  I loved this story, and it sure rang true to me, understanding that all the sacrifice mothers put forth for their children is SO worth it.  It's rewarding beyond measure to see your child grow, learn, and become their own little person, who will someday be an adult, etc.

The second thing I thought about was the juxtaposition between a few things I've recently viewed on tv/internet.  Several tv shows I like have recently showed the main characters making choices that seem to be leading them in an ever downward spiral, and leaving them feeling hopeless.  It's depressing to think that people probably really feel that way.  Contrastingly, this past weekend was General Conference again for our church, and so I spent 8 hours between Sat/Sun watching/listening to leaders from our church (prophets, apostles, auxiliary leaders, etc.) speak on gospel topics, and give advice of how to better your life.  I always LOVE General Conference and feel so uplifted afterward.  My favorite speaker was Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles whose talk was entitled "Lord, I Believe."  He shared the account from Mark 9:24 where the father of a boy with a possessed spirit brought his son to the Savior to be healed.  Christ told him that "all things are possible to him that believeth."  The father "cried out...Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief."  Elder Holland's talk was about how the father first put forth what faith he had, and then acknowledged he needed help.  I could go on and on about this talk and the many points/inspirations made to me.  But you can read it for yourself at the link above.  What I'm ultimately getting at is the HOPE of a bright future that I felt, and how uplifted my spirit was after hearing these prophetic words, and many others from the conference.

Then two nights ago I was catching up on a leadership training for church Primary leaders (leaders of children's organization) that was provided worldwide on Apr. 4.  The training was so inspiring and uplifting that I felt completely full to the brim with hope and love for the children of our ward Primary, and for my own children.  It was such a stark contrast to the things on television, that I found the tv shows that I usually enjoy a bit repulsive, and very depressing.  With people wandering about, aimlessly doing things that are of little value, or that will ultimately lead to unhappiness and further self-loathing, I felt compassion for them (not the tv characters, but those in real life who may be feeling the same way), wanting so badly to be able to help and uplift them, to give them a knowledge of their Savior and the love, hope, and peace He provides.

So how does this relate back to my thoughts on motherhood?  It gives me joy to know that I'm being blessed with some of God's choicest spirits to come to my home and be my children.  I feel honored to be a mother, and it makes me want to have more children.  Motherhood is a blessing from God, women being blessed with the gift of creation.  It's a special and amazing thing to carry a child, and then to mother that child.  I was trying to explain to Nathan tonight how I already have a connection and relationship with our unborn child, and that feeling his movements and growth, while sometimes really uncomfortable now that he's outgrowing his space, are endearing to me because it's a way of me already holding my son.

While these last few weeks of pregnancy get really uncomfortable and exhausting, it's such a joyful thing.  I am looking forward to finally meeting this little guy face to face instead of feet to belly.  And although at times Cooper is frustrating, and I feel like I couldn't possibly handle another child, nothing brings me more satisfaction that being a mother.  Nothing.

Flower Power

Earlier this week, after blogging about helping my friend Mel in her yard in TX, I was itching to get out in my own yard and enjoy the beautiful sunny weather we had for a day or two.  So instead of going to my water aerobics class, which I rarely choose to miss, I decided to stay home the rest of the afternoon and plant flowers in my flower beds.  Cooper loved going to the nursery with me to pick out the flowers.  This was my trunk--so pretty!  I decided this year to go with perennials for the beds, and annuals just in the pots.  That way if we're still in this house next year, I can afford to do more of the yard, and not just these beds.

Forgot to take a "before" picture before I started, but here is one mid-way.

This bed I was trying to let the wild clover take over, since the ground has no topsoil there, and it's just yuck.  But then I decided against that plan, and determined to plant flowers.  I hadn't saved any topsoil, so we'll see if they survive in the hard NC clay dirt.

Cooper was my little helper all afternoon and into the evening.

All our hard work paid off, I think.  Now we just need to buy some new mulch for the beds, but that'll have to wait for another month's budget. :)

I love planting and being outdoors.  It was the perfect way to spend the afternoon, well, except for the strain on my very pregnant body.  Let's just say that after all that, I was SO ready for a nice hot bath that night...but it was worth it.

Happy Easter!

Easter morning Cooper slept in, which was a curse for me, since Nate was out of town, and I was on my own to get us to church on time.  Nonetheless, we started off reading a children's version of the story of the first Easter, to remind us of the purpose of Easter, and help us focus on the Savior, Jesus Christ, and the Sabbath day.  We sang a few childrens' Easter songs from church that Cooper would be singing later that morning in Sacrament meeting with all the other Primary children, and we had a good discussion about the true meaning of Easter, which we'd been discussing for weeks, using childrens' books about it at bedtime and such.  Then I had to break the moment, and remind Cooper about the Easter Bunny.
At the mere mention, he was rearin' to go downstairs, and did NOT want to pose for decent picture.  I got this...

and this...

Crummy phone camera, but here he was following the jelly bean trail from the front door to the Easter baskets.

The bunny brought him a baseball mitt, tee ball stand, and a few other things.

Bubbles!

All spiffed up for church in his new clothes that he picked out himself (out of the four choices I'd given him at the store).  Took a picture in the same spot in my room that we did last year so we can compare his growth/change.

At church, Cooper was ecstatic to sing "Did Jesus Really Live Again?" and "Jesus has Risen" with the other Primary children (ages 3-11).  We were sitting on the very back row in the 3rd overflow, but I told him to get up and follow the music leader, who was sitting right in front of us, all the way to the front.  He confidently walked up, found a place right in front, folded his arms, and waited patiently to start.  He sang the songs really well, but the most memorable moment was during "Jesus has Risen."  All the other kids sang the first line, "Jesus has risen," while Coop seemed to be in la-la land.  Then while the other kids reverently sang the next line, "Jesus our friend," Cooper decided to play catch up, and LOUDLY sang "JESUS HAS RISEN!"  Most of the adults in the audience chuckled and smiled.  I heard him loud and clear all the way in the back, and just smiled to myself, proud of him for making an effort.  Such a sweet boy.

After church I wanted to get a good Easter picture of him, but once again he was not in the photo-taking mood, and this was the best I got--little stinker.

Later that afternoon we got together with is friend Braden from two houses down, and had an Easter egg hunt, first in our yard, and then in his.  These two are great friends, play VERY well together (never seen them fight yet, take turns well, etc.).  I am glad Cooper has a playmate so close to our house.  They're only two weeks apart in age.

Aunt Denise and Uncle Jim came up from South Carolina for the afternoon as well.  Cooper ran Aunt Denise ragged, taking her outside to explore the woods, and then over to Braden's house.  Poor Aunt Denise was a good sport, trying to keep up with his sugar-induced energy.  Uncle Jim and Nate (who got home early afternoon) watched college basketball games on tv, and I was busy cooking Easter dinner.  We had a nice dinner, and a really nice visit with Denise and Jim.  Cooper was SO sad to see them leave that night.  He loves his Aunt Denise like a grandmother, and hates to have those visits come to an end.  I don't know how I missed taking any pictures of them that day!  For me, it was a long, exhausting day (crazy sugar-hyper kids at church for two hours, Cooper having more sugar in one day than he usually consumes in a month, etc.), but it was also very enjoyable and fulfilling.  I love holidays.

Cooper is 3-1/2 Years Old

Last week while I was in Texas, Cooper turned 3-1/2.  Sometimes that sounds so young, and other times it seems like he's growing up too fast, creeping closer and closer to 4.  While I love the innocent comedy that comes with three, three has been a trying age for me as Cooper's mother.  He's becoming increasingly independent and STUBBORN.  He is also obsessed with all bathroom humor and thinks it hilarious to say things like "booty, bum, duty, poop, etc."  Saying these words more than once at our house results in an immediate time out, and sometimes he'll say them again as if to show me he doesn't care about the punishment, that the satisfaction of saying it is worth it.  Same goes for spitting.  The stubbornness shows up when putting him in time out.  Lately he'll either outright laugh at me and run away, repeatedly move out of the time out spot, and/or scream and cry like I'd just beat him to death.  Just a few days ago, he was practicing all these antics for one time out he'd gotten for spitting at me, and it took nearly a full HOUR to get him to stay on the timeout rug for the full 3 minutes.  That was just as hard on me as him.  I hated it!

First shorts of the year (a few weeks ago)

But while he's putting our parenting skills to the test, he is such a joy and wonder to us as well.  One of Cooper's greatest skills is talking to complete strangers.  He's not afraid to tell them anything, as if they were his best friend.  This is both good and bad.  Trying to teach him stranger danger while not squelching his outgoing personality is proving tough.  Yesterday while out running errands he talked to other customers in line, the cashier, and other customers in the aisles.  Two of these women asked how old he is, and said he is very smart for his age.  I think he's on par with his peers in some areas, behind in others (like having little to NO interest in learning his alphabet or letters), and ahead in others (like his knowledge of specific things like tractors, trucks, how things work, etc.).  

Playing trucks today in the backyard, as he does most every day.

We have a water tower near our house, and he asked one day what it was.  As I explained that it's used to store water, he asked what the water is for.  For days he was curious about all things water:  pipes, drains, rain, streams.  Finally one day in the shower I gave him the full rundown of the water cycle, all the way from rain, to cleaning/storage, to our use, to water treatment, back to nature, etc.  He was fascinated, and when I finished telling him about it, he asked a few questions, and then said, "Wow, Mom. That is amazing! Tell it again!!"  His little mind is such a sponge; I can tell him something once, and he'll remember and recall it in context weeks later.  All children are this way, but it still amazes me.  It's also amazing how they can recall things like that, but you can tell them spitting is bad manners, and they somehow forget every time. Ha!

Another recent Cooper-ism:

3/19: Nate had to go to his uptown office today, as Coop and I were in his home office this morning, Coop sat down and started pretend typing on the keyboard. I asked what he was doing and he said, "Typing for money like Daddy does." The he picked up the phone, and said, "Now I have a meeting," as if to dismiss me, had a pretend phone conversation, and then went back to typing.

Playing "fort" today in the box from our new rocking chair

I love seeing Cooper's imagination blossom.  Just a few days ago I watched him play with the girls from next door (6 and 8 yrs old).  For the first time that I've witnessed, he engaged in playing with them without needing bikes, toys or the like.  They played a form of tag, where the person who was "it" was the monster, chasing the others.  The girls being older, Cooper was the monster more than his fair share, but he still had fun.  A time or two he came and said the girls were running away too much, and I could tell he was tired and frustrated.  I said, "Well, then you can stop chasing them, and they'll probably come back to find you.  Then you can tell them you want to play something else."  I could see the wheels spinning in his brain, and he said, "Oh," like the thought hadn't occurred to him.  That was also the first time I allowed him to run all over our backyard, front yard, their yard, etc. without having him in my sight the whole time.  I let him play at their house in the backyard the other day, and could hear them playing, but couldn't see them.  It's weird having him grow up and go out to play with friends without me having to be there to supervise every little moment.

One other skill Cooper is learning is self-regulating.  At church he's been kinda out of control in Primary during Sharing Time and singing time, not really paying attention, more playing with is neighbor and such.  But in the last month or so, he's been paying attention, singing, and participating.  One of the ladies in Primary who used to be a school teacher commented that he's starting to learn the important skill of self-regulation.  It's totally normal for his age, but I think it's a bit of a milestone for a little kid.

Cooper's Southern accent is getting more prominent, probably due to the fact that his two best friends, Ethan and Braden, both have strong Southern accents, as do their parents.  Words he says totally Southern are:  here (HE-er), there (THEY-er), now (NAH-ow), fair (FAY-er), basically anything with an "er" or "air" or "ere" ending.  It cracks me up, and I try to get him to repeat the word without an accent, and sometimes he has a really hard time doing so.  If we stay here, he's sure to grow up with an accent.  If we move, I wonder how long it will stick with him.

Lastly, Coop has decided he's pretty much done with snuggling with his teddy bear or puppy stuffed animal at bedtime.  One night I was putting them in bed with him as usual, and he said, "No snuggle friends, Mom.  I don't need them any more."  I was shocked since it wasn't gradual.  There have been a night or two when he's been afraid of the dark or of the noise of a train or a firetruck going by, and I've asked and he's accepted to have one for comfort, but for the most part, he seems to have moved on.  However, DO NOT skip his two blankets he sleeps with, and DO NOT try to substitute other blankets if his snuggle blankets are in the wash.  Disaster of the crying sort will occur, and sleep will be evaded for hours.

All in all, my little Cooper is growing up.

Picture taken one night to say hello to his cousin, Calvin.  He had some bad splinters we'd put some drawing salve on, and didn't have any bandaids, so we covered them in medical tape for the night.

A Visit with My Texas Twin

Last week I had the opportunity to fly to Houston to visit my dear friend, Melodee, in Houston, TX.  I was there to help out for a few days, but it was such an easy trip that it didn't feel like I was really helping.  Melodee and Stephen are great parents and their boys were such a joy to take care of.  I learned a few parenting tips just by watching them interact with their children, and also enjoyed getting to know Mel's kids on a more personal level.  Little Ryan and I spent the most time together, and I was happy to have an almost 3-year old at my side since this was the first time I'd been away from Cooper for more than a few hours since my last business trip to Atlanta back in 2011.

As soon as I got to the Charlotte airport, one of the TSA agents stopped me at security and asked if I should really be traveling this late in my pregnancy.  I was like, "Excuse me?  I know I look like a whale, but I do have NINE weeks left!  There is no chance this baby is coming yet."  Bet he'll never ask another woman that question again.  Ha!

Mel and Stephen asked if I would exercise my love of all things green and help them fix a few things in their front yard.  With a beautiful day upon us, I was more than happy to oblige.  It was SO fun to go to the store and pick out plants and topsoil and stuff, and to get to spend someone else's money!  I could have stayed there all afternoon drooling over all the different plants, but for Mel's sake, I tried to keep it quick and stick to what we'd already planned out.

Let's get to work!

Before we started, there were a bunch of dead plants and empty spaces. 

We transplanted a few plants to other areas to balance things out.  Keeping the bending and lifting to a minimum was easy since I physically just couldn't do it, but it was still SO hard to resist the urge to do it myself.  Mel made a good assistant doing all the hard labor.  I had her digging out clay and replacing it with topsoil, had her dig a riser sprinkler head to see if we could easily fix the over-spray problem killing her plants (nope--let the landscapers do that one, and have I ever mentioned how much I hate riser sprinkler heads?!  Sheesh.), and such.  She was a good sport.

And then came the fun of planting the new additions.  Right about then Mel's oldest son, Kyle, came home from school, and so he helped me dig holes and put in the new plants.

Meanwhile, Stephen was busy putting up a hose hanger and the flag holder on the house.

I always love seeing things after all the hard work.  

I look forward to seeing pictures of these plants in the future as they fill in and blossom.

True to form, on Tuesday, chemo day, we both got up and got ready for the day, not seeing each other until breakfast, where we were both wearing black pants, turquoise shirts, black sweaters, and turquoise dangle earrings.  I had to laugh, since that is how our nicknames of "Twin" started for each other way back when.  It was fitting then that we had at least one day out of the four that we dressed the same.  We didn't capture a picture of our Twin-ness, but we've still got it!

I am so glad I was able to visit my BFF and help her and her family before baby #2 makes his debut in mine.  Taking care of 3 boys also bolstered my confidence that I can take care of more than one child at a time, and that baby #2 is going to be more of a joy and less of an adjustment that I worry about sometimes.

My favorite part about the visit, besides the yard work, was just being able to talk with Mel.  Some friends are hard to talk to after being apart for periods of time, but not Mel.  From the minute she picked me up at the airport, to the time she dropped me off to go home, we were all chatter, just like it's always been.  I love having a friend who knows me so well, and to whom I can tell anything.  She always has sound advice, understands me, and seems to always give me more than I can ever give her in return, this trip included.

Thanks for being a one-in-a-million friend, Twin, and for making this a memorable visit.  I love that I get pictures of Ginger to keep for always. :)